Anyway I have a bit of a situation at the moment. It was my birthday this week (cue songs, cake, champagne and pressies) and I made a big point of getting drunk and crying over the fact that no one had ever brought me flowers. I then decided to tell everyone I was out with that my favourites were orchids, of course I was not in the slightest bit hinting for one of them to buy me orchids but if they ended up outside a flower shop they could perhaps do me a favour...
My plan worked and the next day I recieved a pot full of orchids. Now what you have to realise is that romantic gestures like that embarrass me. They are lovely but I have never really experienced them. My longest relationship was with a very unromantic man. A guy whose idea of wining and dining me was taking me to mcdonalds and then ordering the wrong deli sandwich. He also brought me mint aeros when I craved chocolate, who does that?? Mint Aero is NOT a chocolate bar. But anyway... (I told you the '....' were useful) as I was saying these orchids were a massive shocker. Especially as they arrived with a note that used the word 'love'. Now that really is scary. It turned out the flowers had been delivered by my friend who had decided that after six or seven hours of me whining on about wanting orchids he'd just buy me some to shut me up.
I relaxed. But not for long. The following evening I recieved a text from sed platonic friend claiming that he had developed feelings for me. Ah. I knew there was a price to pay for getting orchids.
I played my girl card and used the typical girl excuse. I'm not looking for anything serious right now, I'm confused, I don't know where my head's at. Whilst also making a point of letting him know that I was still going on dates with other guys. I was very apologetic and made a point of highlighting my many flaws. I thought this had worked until I started to get texts every hour asking me to just try a date, to tell him why things wouldn't work out. Let me just say now that I am the biggest wuss (it took me a month to dump my ex because he kept crying everytime I tried and I couldn't handle it). I agreed to a date...I don't know how I'm going to get out of this one.
I'm debating licking tube poles, sitting near snotty kids or simply being hit (not lethally) by a passing car. Hmm perhaps it is slightly wrong that I'm willing to be hit by a car to escape the awkwardness of a one sided date. I definitely have some issues.
The worst however has been the CONSTANT texting. After leaving my phone downstairs for half an hour I had recieved ten texts and eight missed calls, the tone of each becoming increasingly clingy as time went on. This is one of the mysteries of men and women that I really don't get. If you ignore men or show them you're not that interested they suddenly LOVE you, whilst if you like a guy and want to be with him he runs for the hills in similar fashion to if you were to turn up with a ski mask and a chainsaw.
Oh well. Let's see how this one pans out.
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